Labrador Crushes

I wish I could tell her how I feel about her, instead of just turning my back on her. She makes me all jittery inside and makes me act funny when she's around. She would never consider loving an old creaky underemployed dog like me, but I'd like her to know WHAT A CRUSH I'VE HAD ON HER FOR ALL THESE YEARS! I think about how her soft tressle coat must feel and I just end up turning my back on her.

Mingus, the Tortured and Silent Bard