$350 Buys Pneumonia

Yesterday started normally enough with a car trip with T.B. so she could look at houses while I guarded the car, then a little lunch, and then T.B. went out for a few hours and IT HIT ME, FELLED ME, STRUCK LIKE LIGHTENING, so when T.B. got back I was just a lump of unresponsive fur and flesh lying in my bed in the hall and not guarding the door, not even raising my perfect head. She called big, tall and strong Eddie at her office and he zoomed over and carried me in one of my black fur throws, JUST LIKE A FIREMAN! to T.B.'s ambulance and off we went to Emergency where they charge you $150. for walking in the door, only I couldn't walk so I got a ride on a gurney into the clinic.

Thermometer in my bum, heart rate monitor on my chest, pulse taken, shaved my arm to take blood, I had to pee in a cup, my regular Doc called in about me, it was just like in the movies. It was so much excitement I decided to stand up and walk around, even though I was a little feverish and in a daze. A very sick cat came into the ER and a pigeon that had been attacked by a Crow gang and had to be offed. I knew I wasn't going to be offed there because I could see they didn't have an elevator.

Back at home, I kept T.B. up most of the night. She got even by sticking a thermometer up my bum every 2 hours and squirting water into my mouth every hour so I didn't wrinkle up with dehydration. Anyway, it sounds like T.B. bought me pneumonia for $350 and I have to take anti-bionics for 7 days (I would have thought that I'd want pro-bionics, not anti-bionics, the way the damn hind legs don't work anymore, but I'm no doctor!)

My appetite came back later today, but not before I turned down salmon, then sirloin and yams. Eventually I agreed to some chicken and yams and broccoli (cause broccoli makes me fart and I thought that might keep the thermometer away from my bum tonight). I drank a tank of homemade chicken stock too.

She's a doting bitch, but I do feel a lot better. Couldn't she spend money taking me on a nice holiday instead of buying me pneumonia though?

copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch