Simple Vocabulary for Dogs

I've spent my life trying, despite enormous obstacles, to grasp language, to appreciate language and all it's little nuances (and tricks), in an effort to be closer to The Bitch, and it has brought me nothing but confusion and heartache and trouble (and quite a few laughing fits too!). The Bitch can't learn Italian, so she has no right to be miffed with me for bad usuage or malapropisms. Yes, I referred to her occupation as Realwhore, when in reality she is a Realtor, but I'm almost a hundred years old and deaf, she's lucky I refer anything her way!

Besides which, I've proven her best investment to date. She paid a measly $600. for me fourteen years ago and now by her calculations I'm worth about $150,000.. That's a 250% return!

Mingus, the Illiterate Prettyface

(I don't have the spite to tell Mingus it's a financial DEFICIT, but a trillion percent return on investment on all the levels that really matter. T.B.)

copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch