Anorexic Flirtation! Look, I'm sure you're a very nice bitch and everything, but I'm into flesh, not bones, and that binge eating and barfing just isn't my thing. Good luck. I'm sure you'll find a stud that will be totally into you, you deserve a stud that is totally into you, and can afford your vet bills.
YES! What time and where?
I'll introduce you to my cat....
It's good with the restraints.
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Intimate Encounters of the Week
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Lust
You're smallish but smell great and I like your Simon Says ways.....
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Monday, May 26, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Language Divide
It was futile to ever think that human language could bridge the chasm of our understanding. That is why I chose deafness. Keep talking your nonsense; I'm immune to it. It's your spirit and body language I listen to! Your body language says, "you're hiding cookies in your pocket, and your spirit says you're pretty pleased with yourself for being in the position of controlling when I get them".... and you think that is an enlightened form of partnership, I ask you?????
Mingus, the sage
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
"It Was Only A Fainting Spell" says Mingus
ARIES
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 -- The interactive Gemini Sun fans the fire of Aries from the 3rd House of Communication. As the Sun continues through quicksilver Gemini for the next month, you can radiate more energy than a quasar. Today, however, as your key planet, Mars, quintiles stern Saturn, it would be wise to take serious action toward your goals. Don't miss your opportunity for forward movement.
Yes, "foward movement" will keep T.B. from crying! I must move forward, not sideways or downward.... I kinda like fainting though... it's dreamy and I wake up all snuggled up in her arms.
Mingus, the dreamy
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Our Parents Were Polygamists
We were born on Vancouver Island, at Yellow Point, not in Bountiful, but our parents practiced polygamy too. "Cereal polygamy" is quite common in the town I live in now. I don't eat very much cereal. This morning I had asparagus, acorn squash and chicken breast with my kibble.
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Friday, May 16, 2008
My Own Iron Chef
It's 9:30 pm and you’re back to your kennel, I mean apartment, from a day of shopping/sightseeing/countless parks to pee in, and you’re exhausted, not to mention hungry. Yes you saw all of Stanley Park, parts of Queen Elizabeth Park, all of the beaches in Point Grey… and you’re famished. A dried ooligan is all you've eaten since lunch. Fast food and fast bitches are not what you have in mind. You want to unwind in the comfort of your kennel, I mean apartment, and be fed something gourmet but nothing too rich, something which is comfort food, but without the starch. Many kennels do not keep a marquee chef on staff, BUT MINE DOES. Three-time whiner, I mean “winner” of “Bitches Who Dish Award for Canine Cuisine” (1994, 1999, 2005) just happens to be mine. So at 9:30 p.m. when I’m exhausted and hungry I get room service delivery of chilled organic chicken hearts en gele, yam chips, steamed broccoli flowers, a bowl of organic chicken consommé, and for dessert plain organic yogurt with a squirt of salmon oil concentrate, and a hip massage. T.B. should find someone like her for herself….perhaps in her next incarnation as a dog…..
Mingus, the pampered pooch
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Oldest Bust of Caesar Found
I know I have it pretty good. T.B. won't even go on a holiday without me cause I'm so old and "frail" and rely on her so much and she wants to be sure I die in her arms like Chase did or something. I'm going to try to die of a massive heart attack while out on a walk--somewhere where it will be really difficult for her to get my body out. She loves a challenge. I think I might just stop breathing instead, in an act of self-willed death. Have you noticed that if you stop breathing you faint? I guess you have to stop breathing for longer to die. Like everything else in life it is a matter of degrees..... which we don't have many of cause 1/it is still freezing here despite it being mid-May 2/stupid health regulations and my inability to read or write meant I couldn't go to University so I don't have any degrees... Yes, my mind does wander in a strange stream of semi-consciousness....
Anyway, I've noticed that she has paintings of me, and drawings of me, and photos of me and this retarded blog about me, but she doesn't have any sculptures of me! I haven't been cast in bronze yet! It's outrageous isn't it? They just found what is apparently the oldest surviving bust of Julius Caesar near Arles. I clearly have to leave more remnants of me around for the scavenger hunts and archaeological digs which will follow for centuries after my death.
Mingus, the Great
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
From Puppy to Poopy
From Puppy to Poopy.... that about sums it up... I'm not poopy..... yet.... but I do get pooped easily, just like Uncle Buddy did when I was a little snookum who just wanted to play all the time, and he was a retired and feeble gentlepooch who just wanted to pass along some of his knowledge to me before he went in the elevator.
That's a picture of one of the trinities I am part of at the dog park. We perfect Labradors come in three colors you know, so that we can be assured of having visible dog hair on any color clothes you wear, or any color of furniture you own etc... We have great presence as you can see from our proud statures.
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Monday, May 12, 2008
Fancy Bitch
Oh, she's cute alright, and at my age who knows how many more babes are going to pay attention to me.... but she sucks the oxygen out of the park too... we slipped a copy of my standard prenup into her collar and I stole as many free kisses as I could.... I know, cheap jollies! Can't you hear it already though, "Mingus, I saw the sweetest diamond-studded collar... can't we go on vacation to.....??? " Then the pouting and no kisses and sombre humor when I say "no", and all the time she'll have me in a choke collar on a short lead.... forget about it!
Mingus, the cautiously optimistic
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mother's Day 2008
It's Mother's Day, which was a 19th C invention meant to unite thinking, sentient women into creating a pacifist society in the wake of the U.S. Civil War.... well, so much for that. Now it's a day to buy stuff for your mother. I don't have any money so I just give love to T.B., same as every other day. Besides which, she isn't really my birth mother, more my "guardian and executive chef". By the way, I don't like dolmades. The stuffing is okay, but only okay. Grape leaves should stay on the vine.
We met an Irish Setter at the Dog Park this afternoon-- a picture really does paint a thousand words! I had to leave. I couldn't take anymore. They really are as stupid as they look.
We met a small squat dog with more wrinkles than T.B. too. It's okay, she said it first.
Happy non-pacifist and pacifist mother's get flowers day. Love your mommy whether she's a peaceful bitch or a mean bitch.... she's your mommy....
Mingus, the resigned
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Friday, May 9, 2008
Poodle Twin Action
I told you, I'm well-equipped. You've got to love those poodles--so game and curious and ready to please. These two were quite "blond". My back end is collapsing on me tonight, but who cares???? My mind is full of sugar plum liver brownies and curly blonds.
Ming-the-thing
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Tenets vs Tenants
Dear Sweet Chase, I still miss you a lot. There aren't any truly distinguished dogs like you to replace you.
Here's a picture of me walking in front of the fence at the rabbit penitentiary at Jericho Park. They put sailboats in there too for the rabbits to sleep under. That's thoughtful, don't you think? They even have a restaurant/surf shack for them. Maybe the rabbits are tenants, not inmates?
Which brings me to another language struggle. What does T.B. mean when she says that she doesn't share the same tenants for a healthy relationship with some guy???? She should just stay in love with me. I don't have any tenants and I don't see why we should have to take care of anyone else's tenants..... I hear tenants can be hard to lose too.
Mingus, the air sign
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Halt Your Cheatin Hound
Does your Labrador Retriever occasionally have a suspect few hours unaccounted for in his day? You know the signs. He arrives home with a slightly sheepish look on his face and his coat is maybe a little more glossy and mussed than when he left, and he has the distinct smell of another bitch on his muzzle. You check his receipts, but nothing unusual appears in the accounting, and with the Internet today you know that he could be involved in some "Free Love" movement that might ultimately leave your sheets hairless. You can stop this unacceptable behavior with ten easy to follow steps that will ensure he'll never CHEAT on you again. Take full control today. Order your copy of "Halt You Cheatin Hound".
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Dangerous Foreplay
I want to kiss you, not just smell your butt.
Aunty K.T., you know I love you and I didn't mean to bite, I'm sorry.
Mingus, the aged Lover with eroding motor control
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
New Security Measures at The Dog Park
New Security Measures at The Dog Park Elicit Privacy Complaints , 
You Have to Pass The Butt-Sniff Test To Get Park Access Now, But They Haven't Installed Cameras In The Dog Park Yet.
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
Sunday, May 4, 2008
No wonder dogs have to pee on the flowers in the park! They wouldn't smell of anything if we didn't pee on them. 
Crows talk to me. I can't hear WTF they are saying, but they "communicate" with me anyway.
Friday, May 2, 2008
From the Yacht Club to The Runway
I know, I can't be a member at RVYC because of Stupid Health Regulations, but I used to crap on their beach occasionally anyway... though T.B. always cleaned up after me.....
Today was preparation for Spring Fashion Season. I like to try to match the City of Vancouver's garbage cans whenever possible, so today I wore my dead brother's coat to the park. Mine is grey and his is green, and well I guess he doesn't need it anymore so I get to wear it if I choose. He was so prissy about us ever trading clothes....
There was some strange super-sized gerbil pretending to be a dog at the auditions.
One contestant had the nerve to sniff the cologne I put on my heels, I mean hoofs......
I was selected to model this season's Mandarin collar....
while the kinky hoof-sniffer modeled his birthday suit.....
He was kinda cute..... and in the rearguard
Macho Ming
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch
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