Are Dead Dogs Just "Lost"?

January 29, 2008.

I'm soon gonna be the last stud standing... my special dog-sitter, Suzanne, lost her pal, Gus, yesterday.... the kind of lost that doesn't result in "found" and "a reward" either...
Well, maybe he'll meet up with my brother, Chase, and they can hang out together and surf for mussel shells wherever they are. Where are they anyway???? If I agree to go in an elevator for a ride I wonder if I could be with my brother, Chase, again ... sometimes I got mad at him--like when he would tear the head off my big humpy gorilla and the ears off of our stuffed Labrador Retriever (and then my ex-Dad would sew the Lab ears onto the humpy gorilla head and see if he could change my sexual proclivities!!! Please! I can tell the difference between a stuffed plush gorilla and a stuffed plush Labrador Retriever, even if I can't tell the difference between coiffed poodles!)--but even though I got mad at him occasionly, I haven't found another soul mate like him that fits together with me like he did. Every other dog the Bitch has brought around since Chase died just feels like a bad and boring date. Well, I still have My Bitch, and all the beds and fur blankets to myself...

Ming
copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch

Drugs, Liver Brownies, Cheatin Bitches

January 8, 2008.

My Bitch took me to the vet today for a check up। I ate a pound of their liver brownies in exchange for letting them take a bit of my blood। I'm one of their surgical miracles since I had my spleen removed in September, and apparently we have covered a few of their mortgage payments too! Which reminds me of that article My Bitch wrote for B.C. Business which was a cost benefit analysis of supporting a stud like me....

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb3379/is_200209/ai_n8115732


They aren't giving out good drugs at my Vet anymore like they did for the three days after my surgery ... I was so high I could have written my own blog (WITH A LOT BETTER EFFECTS!!!!!!)


So, on the drive home my Bitch screeches on the brakes, stops all the traffic on MacDonald St., get out the car and starts making time with a YOUNGER, FATTER, black Labrador Retriever in the middle of the road! NOT PRIVATELY EITHER, SHE'S STOPPING TRAFFIC TO MAKE KISSY WITH THIS UGLY AND FAT AND DUMB, DID I MENTION HOW DUMB HE WAS? FAKE LABRADOR RETRIEVER. She's out there feeding him my cookies and I can see her trying to grab a hold of his collar, and she's being all charming and alluring, and as if that isn't enough, when that doesn't work, she comes back to the car, gets MY LAMB out of the grocery bag and goes back to this young stud and starts making time with him and feeding him MY LAMB!!! until she gets a hold of his collar and starts kissing him!!! right there in front of me, well finally, the stud's master shows up with a leash and takes the bastard dog home and now I have half the lamb! Bitches. You can take them to the grocery store but you don't dare let them out of your sight!

I'm fartin, what are you doing?

Mingus

copyright 2008 Christine Saulnier, Mingusandthebitch